did you get engaged???
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize