Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
