Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
