i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
