We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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