I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
