We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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