dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
