let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
