Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize