So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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