I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
