Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I bet he comes in French.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
