You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Walk of Shame today included voting.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
