I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
