Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
