if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
