HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
