Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
