you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's always time for handjobs
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
