I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just fell off a train. Bad.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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