My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize