And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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