i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
