i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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