Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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