I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
