Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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