my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
