Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
