In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
