You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
