Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize