And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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