if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
