Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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