My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
