i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
