just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
