he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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