I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize