would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
