What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
