drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
