Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize