You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
