You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
