Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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