it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
