Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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