Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
