I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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