youre lurking in front of me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
