I'm eating all of the evidence.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
