I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
