I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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