I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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