Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
