Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
