you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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