K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
