I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
