Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize