so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
