remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
vagina is talking i cant
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
