Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
