doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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